Word of the Year 2017- Transformation

Transformation:  (noun)

A thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

A metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal.

The genetic alteration of a cell by introduction of extraneous DNA.

In the original Greek language of the New Testament, the word used for transformation is metamorphosis. The biological definition for metamorphosis, is “a profound change in form from one stage to the next in the life history of an organism; as from the caterpillar to the pupa, and then to the adult butterfly.”  An outward change comes from within the life of the organism, the butterfly doesn’t put on a butterfly costume or just act like a butterfly, the caterpillar becomes a butterfly and it becomes a butterfly, over time, and without extraordinary effort BECAUSE the divine force inside It's Creation is destined to be one.  

I think what I’ve been doing for years is donning the butterfly costume over top of my little caterpillar body with the desire to get there quicker. Like when you're a child and play dress up to be something you aren't yet.  I could take my many “to do” and “to change lists” accumulated through the years and use them to  gift wrap all my self-help books and present them to the library of the Behavioral Science Institute. I would probably qualify as a Platinum Donor.  Not that changing bad behaviors, learning new coping skills, or becoming more self-aware isn’t important and a pathway to a better life.  But, I’m not so sure that its sustainable if it’s just knowledge put into some sort of practice without opening up to the need for simple grace and redemption, that spiritual mystery to a truly transformed life.

And, honestly my Amazon collection of "how-to" and "what to" has not helped me get rid of my anger, or fear less, or lose weight in the past year!  2016 has been like walking into a bad dream and not being able to find a door to let yourself out.  

I’ve also tried on the religious hats of a variety of faiths in my quest for this transformation and awareness I hoped would lead to my purpose.  I’ve read enough tomes and attended enough services, picking out the principles and practices that resonated with my heart and tried to leave the rest.  However, most of the time following a path to transformation through the rules and regulations of organized religion disappointed me greatly as did many of its leaders.  We are all flawed human beings, but how could so many religious types be so incredibly blind to Jesus' most basic request  - Love one another?  I didn’t think He meant, love only Christians, or Clinton, or Trump supporters, or people who can afford to pay their own insurance premiums without tax credits, or white people.  Or, those who were blessed to be born in a country that isn’t war torn. Because it isn’t happening to you, or part of your reality,  simply turning a blind-eye isn't a solution.  If being a member of a group that didn’t at least try to walk the most basic and simple teachings of their faith: service, love, compassion, and kindness, I certainly didn’t think it would lead me to the peace of heart and mind I was seeking. The inspirational Elie Wiesel, who suffered unimaginable atrocities as a young boy in a Nazi concentration Camp, said, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”  Specifically, over the last few years, the indifference I've seen reflected has been disheartening.  And, I haven't been able to  wrap my mind around any  faith that separates people into baskets: good, bad, worthy and unworthy.  Religion seemed to me to be too much like Government.  I'm not convinced the Creator of Heaven AND Earth cares more about the United States of America and its people, than Syrian's and their beautiful, historic land. It is astounding to me that so many can’t grasp we are NOT just one nation under God, but one planet under God.  I mean, seriously... we are talking about the Entity that created the heavens too. That meanness, arrogance and separatism  defied everything I thought I knew about Jesus' love.  While I used to find such peace sitting in silence in houses of worship, sensing God's presence, I now just find myself getting angry at some of the doctrine that builds walls that keep people out. I find more peace being in nature or watching children play.  At this juncture of my life, I know I will not be transforming sitting in a pew or chair amongst the faithful with the kind of confusion and judgment I, myself, am holding against organized religion, support groups and their followers. So, I’ve turned from the regular attendance and participation in a community of "believe my way or you don't fit in," until I can shift to a more personally compassionate place, or, find my tribe.  I've come to realize rather than looking in books and beautiful buildings with steeples, or being a member of groups that only welcome you if you have a particular common ground, there is a better way of transforming my attitudes, character flaws, unhealthy habits and body.  

I have to be the change I want to see. I must reflect the LOVE my Creator is and recognize that it is already a part of me. But how do I get there?

I have a relationship with the God of my understanding, but its been relatively regimented and rote with little real commitment and the superficial intimacy of a Facebook friendship. Yes, I reach out for verbal comfort, validation, and support.   That's not really my idea of intimacy.  I do that on social media too.   I do pray. I meditate. Sometimes that feels like it’s all lip service and dressed to impress. Pavlov's dog performing the same old tricks.  I HAVE changed with all my personal efforts seeking to be this better version, but I’ve come to believe I don’t have to work that hard at it, and certainly not alone.  Quality Time is my love language.  It's time for some one on one with my Creator.  I need reminded that I am His butterfly and with Him, ALL things are possible, and I am smack dab in the midst of where I am supposed to be in my metamorphosis.  

I am not looking for behavior modification anymore. I’m looking for something more powerful. Something magical.  I am looking for soul transformation.  

If my soul changes, everything changes. I want the kind of transformation that can only come from the One who made me, where people recognize the butterfly simply by the grace of its movement, the marvel of its colors, and the delight it brings to the world.  I want a change that is so infused throughout every cell that there is only one conclusion; God's love is flowing through me, his spirit lives in me and I am being guided by His divine patience and wisdom. I don't want to just hear how to BECOME more peaceful, forgiving or grateful. I want to REFLECT all those things because that is the nature of my Holy heritage, His spirit from within me shining forth. I want to let that power take over and infuse my life. 

The transformation I am seeking will begin with the recognition that I don’t have to put on the butterfly costume anymore.  My genes come from the extraneous DNA of that Who is Perfect, and all I need to do is build a deeper relationship, surrender, listen, and then, trust the process.  I have all the markings and have already been named a butterfly.   

All these thoughts: digging deep, self-exploration, trying out new practices this past few years, and a profound desire to be the best version of me; more understanding,  more loving, less judgmental, left me agonizing over my word of the year. Abundant?  Forgiving? Observant? Connected?  Healthy? I wanted it all.  I didn't think I had enough years left to make all those changes. Maybe I don't have to. Maybe it’s as simple as my favorite Bible verse." Be Still and Know I am God." And, then, investing the time to really know Him. He is the change artist and the magician and can do for me what I won't find outside myself or in the world.  I don't need to be perfect and work at life, and change, and growth so fervently.  The metamorphosis is already taking place. Relax. Trust more. Fear less. Through Him all things are possible.  Maybe my word next year will be Supported. But, wait- by then I will know that I already am and always have been.

Note:  This will be my final post on this beloved blog of mine.  The benefits are relatively selfish.  I gained a lot of humility and self-awareness and it  taught me to be vulnerable,no matter what,  fearlessly sharing my stories.  Stay tuned in 2017 - I am in the beginning stages of a new blog that I am hoping will help me accept this aging process and  find the humor in being a Baby Boomer.  Boom Baby! 

Word of the Year 2016 - AUTHENTIC - AUTHENTICITY

Authentic:  Real or genuine: not copied or false.  True.  Accurate.  An original. 
Authenticity: The truthfulness of origins, attributes, commitments, sincerity, devotion, and intentions.  In philosophy a particular way of dealing with the external world, being faithful to internal rather than external ideas. 

I’ve chosen a Word every year for quite a few years now starting this practice even before it was so popular. I really love the concept and invest some time in the selection process.  It’s become a holiday ritual, letting my yearly Word of the Year evolve through thought, prayer, and meditation the week between Christmas and New Years. The soft glow of the Christmas tree lights and a big overstuffed chair are conducive to this kind of introspection.  Being reflective and seeking guidance in picking my Word of the Year is worth the investment of time it takes and works so much better for me than a check sheet of New Year resolutions that come wrapped with a lot of pressure. I am no longer interested in resolute efforts that I know through past trial, will set me up later to feel inadequate, regretful and defeated.  Keep it simple is not just a slogan to me, it’s a conscious decision.  

At this stage of my life I am not necessarily seeking to accomplish things either.  I am looking to grow a better human being; one that is living up to her potential.  That takes cultivating qualities, building spiritual muscles, around the framework of my life as it exists, not how I wish it was.   Aspirations are fine, if they are of the kind that enhance and grow the human spirit and others. However, I think gifts and abundance arrive as a result of that growth.  Or, maybe it's this simple - we learn to recognize them even if they aren't the sparkly obvious ones.  

The practice of One Word, also removes my tendency to live in the “When”, postponing life. It drives my focus towards co-creating my present, moment by moment.  I no longer live with: When I loose 30 pounds on my January 1st diet.  Or, when I get healthier, after my surgery, better blood work, or new body parts.   Again, I am not saying there is anything wrong with working towards goals, I just think the pathway to those goals, for me,  has been to place my attention on one Word that strengthens qualities that may serve me better in getting to those goals rather than charging towards a single end result.  When I do that, the word becomes an intention that is seared into my heart and head, and the UNFOLDING  of it has been gratefully passed back into the hands of God.  To steal an AA phrase and concept, I want to practice my Word in all my affairs. 

My New Year mantra is: It is my heart's desire to be like a feather on the breath of God.  This makes this year’s Word of the Year task even simpler.  My only business is to use and apply that Word to situations that arise and to grease the sticking points throughout the year. If I do that, I will be prepared when God's breath moves me where I need to be.  Every year, I can now look back and see a pattern, leading me to the next yearly Word and a new level of awareness.  Every Word over the last few years has been leading up to the next.  I don’t know that authentic would have been possible until I learned what it means to blossom (2011), set myself free (2012), be fearless (2013), create (2014), and  renew (2015).  It takes a free, fearless spirit to create a renewed life authentically. 

Last year, my Word, renew, was in the front of my mind as I changed some habits that I had draped over my shoulders like a security blanket, but then they turned on me and were weighing me down.  The word renew was in the front of my mind as I paid attention to what I put into my body and how I treated it.  The word renew kept me curious and interested in anything new that might even moderately be a healing tool for not only my physical form, but my spirit.  I investigated food as medicine, the Healing Arts, Tapping, Aromatherapy, Himalayan Salt Lamps, Essential Oils, Reiki, Forgiveness Therapy;  stepping out of the conventional box, to explore anything that might rejuvenate and refresh whether it was proven, practical, or FDA approved.  Experimentation, belief and faith became my new Science.   

There were times when my Word pushed hard on me and the evidence of success wasn’t immediately apparent.  Those times I had to remember the ghost of Words past.  I learned to be fearless by practicing it. I set myself free, by recognizing I was the one that chained myself to things that didn’t honor who I was. And, creating, well, that was entirely up to me too.  My talent wasn’t dependent on what other people thought of it!  I could create, a beautiful meal, a comfortable home, an interesting story, an environment of love,  a good life. My creativity was a personal thing.  God didn't place it inside me to necessarily gather a big audience.  He placed it there as an expression of  His love and a gift to me.

Word of the year might be a simple practice, but changing old, misbehaving behaviors is much harder than laying out a to-do list.  They are like leeches, burrowing under your skin and don't budge much without personal effort. Early in the year,  applying my Word always feels like a clumsy cha-cha - one, two, back, back, back. Eventually though, it memorizes the steps and finds its flow. The Word rises up and the spiritual question gets asked.  Will selling my house help me to feel free? Is switching churches going to help me to blossom in my spiritual knowledge and understanding of God?  What other things can I do to renew stale relationships?   What are some actions I can take  that will lead to an authentic life?   In doing this, am I being true to my values and standing for authenticity?

 Authentic is my chosen Word of the Year for 2016. I have prayed it into being, God's breathed life into it and  starting today, I’ll strive to practice authenticity in all my affairs.  

I’ll check back in a few months and let you know how it’s going.

Authentically,
Me 

  

Word of the Year - 2012

I gave up New Year’s resolutions a few years ago.  I know goal setting is important, but I make it so complex.  I’m demanding too, harder on myself than I am on anyone else.  Often I get to the end of the year, only to face the truth;  I haven’t lost the same 20 pounds I've been trying to lose for years, nor run a marathon, and still haven’t made the New York Times bestseller list.   Maybe subliminally, I make  the list so long and demanding, no human power would be able to succeed. Sometimes new experiences, success and the change that accompanies it, can be rather frightening too.  Yet, there was another side to it. I discovered so much on my list, was out of my control. That revelation was  a deep breath of fresh air actually. I can do the legwork, but expecting specific outcomes wasn't to be part of my job description.  For example, to sell a house in a recessed market and community was an unreasonable expectation. Even employment was at the whims of other people and the Universe.  How much is in our control?  Very little.  That manner of goal setting wasn't working for me and I’m kinder to me these days.  I have some “loose goals” now.  When I do put a few on paper, I name it my “wish list” rather than my “resolutions”. 

This end of the year/beginning of the new year soul-searching has evolved into something that works much better for me.  I spend some time in meditation and prayer, sit down with my little worksheet, and allow the word to drift into my consciousness.    A single word or two, like a mantra, that can be a point of focus  as I navigate a brand new year.  Last year, that word was BLOSSOM.  Now, the first week of January 2011, I did start the year off blossoming in a really visible way. My tired, stressed out body, overtaxed my immune system and  I sprouted shingles.  On my face, of all places, and I was confined to the house for the first few weeks of the New Year.  That really wasn’t what I had in mind.  Yet, somehow that solitary time alone honing in on what it means to me to BLOSSOM,  jettisoned my determination to continue to cultivate my talents, take my  spirituality to another level, and rediscover my joy.  That single word served me well.  In my undertakings, major as well as minor, I consistently asked the question, “Is this action, belief, person, or endeavor, going to allow me to continue to open up to life and BLOSSOM into the soul my Creator wants me to be?” I’ve gotten to the end of the year, and have deemed it a success.  I have blossomed.  I’m not the same human spirit I was in January of 2011.  I’ve changed: given up some really bad habits, learned to trust my intuition, burned the doormat, grown closer to others, opened my arms wide to opportunity and the world, rather fearlessly.  I’ve taken some big risks, and put myself out there farther than I ever have in my life.   I worked hard, although it didn’t seem so much like work.  It felt more like holding the intention (word) in my mind and heart and just doing what I was led to do, day by day, step by step and letting it all manifest in its own time.  I’ve forgiven what needed forgiven, accepted what needed accepted, and invited in the Grace that was just waiting for me to ask.  BLOSSOM served me well in 2011.  

I began the process of my word for 2012, and thought I was thorough in my examination and had even selected the word.  Somehow, when I repeated, it just didn’t fit, although in my head I wanted it to.  It was such a nice word.  One I could see taking off in a number of lovely directions.  I could imagine what the word would bring to me.  And, that’s where the unease set in.  I was trying to control the choice of the word with this expected outcome, and visions of how it would play out and serve me in the future.  Because I was working it in my head, I knew it  couldn’t be my word for 2012.  It was contrived.  It needed to be one that rose to the surface, outside of my expectations and control.  What then was my word to be?

Asking for guidance through prayer and meditation and then paying attention, being mindful to the signs around us, always reveals our answer.  At first, it was just a little nudge.... the word.  It sounded strange in the context I saw it in.  It arrived in the mail in the form of a Christmas card.  The sentiment, in part read, “Onto the New Year.  I hope it brings you happiness, joy and freedom.”  Freedom?  From what?  The word jumped out at me.  Where had I heard that word used before, and recently too?  

Right before Christmas, a very special person I hadn’t seen in a few years, paid me a visit.  We had an unexpectedly profound, honest, talk and the conversation and connection clung to me  for the next few days like the sweet scent of my favorite perfume.  I have to claim it as one of the highlights of my season.  The gift of undivided attention and communicating between hearts, is one of the most precious things another can give us.   Later that evening,  posted on my Facebook wall, was the single sentence, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”My holiday angel left me that.  I got it. It was the icing on our conversation with a great big cherry served up on top.  I knew.  

My word for 2012 is FREEDOM.  I’m not really sure where the word will lead me or even how to apply it to my days, but I know that’s the word.  It’s none of my business where it takes me.  As I move through the brand New Year, I am sure I will  continue to ask the question, often, “Does this action, belief, person, or endeavor create FREEDOM in this life of mine?”  I’m not going to put an expectation on how it’s all going to play out.  It’s more of an adventure to let the word take me, rather than me taking the word.  It seems perfect somehow.  You can't be free when you are still trapped inside the bud. You don't even know what it feels like...the warm air, the sunlight on your face, the joy of stretching.  First, you blossom, then you're free. 

May you find your word in the New Year and allow it to manifest your heart's desires.  Happy 2012! Celebrate. Believe. Prosperity. Peace.