Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Soulmates Revisited

i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it (anywhere
i go, you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) 
Edward Estlin Cummings

This is the kind of love everyone seems to be seeking.  And, who wouldn’t feel adored compared to the eternal moon, sun, and stars? Wow.  Can anyone ever love us like this?  I think so, but it’s taken me decades and a few additional years to discover a Love like that.  
 A recent view of the google analytics on my blog reflects more than half the random hits were because people typed the word “soulmates” into a search engine.  If nothing else, it’s a great internet marketing lesson learned;  why optimizing key words are such a powerful tool for promotion on the internet!  My reasons for writing about it back then were much more self-serving than wanting exposure or helping the heartbroken desperately wading through the opinions of random billions of internet feedback and advice. 
I wrote it initially because a relationship, one I was convinced was an ethereal soulmate connection, had ended disastrously.  Writing has always been one method I use to figure things out; using my creative right brain to journey inward where the Wise One resides and guides me to some understanding.  I wanted answers, why this rare occurrence of an  intuitive attraction, almost spiritual, wound up being a complete failure, leaving me with some permanent scars and questioning everything.  For a time, I found myself trusting nothing, a very lonely place to be.  I couldn’t rely on my instincts, heavenly guidance, friends, or loved ones.    Taking that time to write and resurrect the dynamics of some of the relationships from my past, as well as some serious prayer and meditation, unveiled a new belief that resonated so purely to me. Here is what I discovered, and my post from back then:  

My realization that every significant relationship, both positive and negative are soulmate connections was a "slain in the spirit" Ahha moment for me!   A soulmate connection is one that helps nudge (or in some of my cases- drop-kick) us down the path of knowing who we really are, helping us to grow into our authenticity.  We learn about ourselves through these important human beings, importing bits of the teachings from our numerous soulmates as we move through the course of our lives. Our soulmates reveal the good, the bad, the ugly, the joy and the holy in us.   They come to love us, upset us, teach us, push our buttons, pleasure us, challenge us, adore us, and mentor us.  No one soulmate is any more important in our soul’s growth, than another.  Some just feel better than others, more fun,  awe inspiring, joyful, gentler, more sensuous, loving, or enlightening.   The ones who shake our world to its core, are likely the ones we need the most, at that particular time in our evolution.  There is no one human soulmate. We have more soulmates in our lifetime than we ever imagined.  
In the last year or so, I’ve come to believe having the grand lover, that one special person we are counting on to complete us and fill our lives,  is not really what drives our search for the ONE.   We are much more complicated (although we should learn to be simpler) than that. If we thought more simply, we wouldn't be continuously looking, thinking, another human being can ever give us all that we are seeking.   People change, move away, and  die.  They can help us along our path, but they cannot give us the permanent kind of connection and pure love we so desperately want.    
I think our restlessness is actually the vague remembrance of all the love of the spiritual home, from which we came. This motive of our desperate quest for a soulmate is the desire to clear the amnesia from our birth.  Remembering.  Our True love.  Our Heartmate.  Our Creator.  All of these encounters with others, throughout the course of our lifetime, are by design, and drive us to the doorway of our own Heart, where if we are silent, we begin to recognize, we already have everything we have searched for and wanted all along.  In that quiet space we do begin to  hear all which our spirit cries out for.   My beloved.  You are perfect. I love you exactly as you are.  I will never leave you. “My love for you is whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing, is you.  I love you higher than the soul can hope and mind can hide.”   
I 've found it.  My Heartmate. It was here all along.  Nurtured by an all powerful, unconditional love, I am secure.  Tucked safely in my Beloved's arms, I need look no more.  The discovery..... the greatest love of all.  Soulmates will continue to arrive and depart in my life, teaching me how to surrender, give, and love, as my Heartmate loves me. My search is done.

"I carry your heart with me.  I carry it in my heart."