Saturday, April 6, 2013

Introducing Me... Confessions

  • I have a very busy head that rarely takes a vacation.
  • I’ve been hurt and I often trust people I shouldn’t.
  • I’ve experienced many tragedies but had an equal measure of joys.
  • I frequently believe too much. In hope, in healing, in second chances. 
  • I’m self-reliant with a little bit of a secret desire for someone to take care of me. 
  • I’ve learned to love bigger than I think I’m capable.
  • I have a forgiving heart, but it can take me a while to get there.  
  • I’m a singer. The kind that would make your dog howl. I hold most of my concerts in the car, with the windows rolled up.
  • I’m also a dancer with the limited poise of the tiny ballerina locked up in your jewelry box. I don’t care.  I do it anyway. I was made to move. 
  • I’ve been known to be wrong, but sometimes, I'll have a hard time telling you that.
  • I am a recovering perfectionist, far from perfect.
  • I laugh a lot and smile even more.
  • I am truly oblivious to compliments believing they must be directed at whoever is standing behind me. 
  • I cry.... a lot. For you and with you.  I cry when I’m sad and happy; when I’m moved or inspired;  and when I’m incapable of words because my spirit is crushed beyond recognition.  
  • I’m a giver who is learning to receive.
  • I’m also a people pleaser learning to please me first, so what I have to give you, is for the right reasons.
  • I often care more about others than I do about myself, but I am learning to give both of us equal love fest time. 
  • I hate to be called honey, hon, baby, dear, sweetheart.. unless it comes from the select few who are MY honeys, babies, dears, or sweethearts. 
  • I have a sarcastic, snarky, sense of humor sometimes, but make real efforts to not direct it in a hurtful, or shameful way. 
  • I’m a diva, a shoe whore, and frustrated fashionista.  I love baubles, make-up, perfume, and the blonde hair God forgot to give me. 
  • I'm a lover of beautiful things; art, words, nature, babies, old people.
  • I’m fearless with my fun. 
  • Most of the time I am an extroverted, social butterfly, but I enjoy an occasional solitary respite, hiding out in my own cocoon.
  • Some days I don’t like my body, but I always appreciate what it's doing for me.
  • I am a nurturing caretaker when others are ill, but often can’t seem to drag myself to see a medical doctor or dentist.  
  • Yet, I'm the Queen of self-help; therapy, meditation, drumming, tapping, the latest crazes and other healthy methods for ending suffering. I'm vehemently opposed to silent suffering and believe martyrdom is for the great Biblical heros and historical gurus, who are much stronger than me. 
  • I’m motivated by challenge, but will probably whine about it to you. 
  • I often say I want security, safety, and just to settle in comfortably, but, I get bored easily and yearn for adventure.
  • When I love you, I love you forever.  I will protect you, defend you, be loyal to you, and do my best to love you unconditionally, sometimes when you don’t deserve it. 
  • I tend to be brutally honest with myself while sugarcoating the truth to others.
  • I’ve been a sinner and a saint, but I sleep better when I am a saint. 
  • If you could peek inside my heart, you would see it's made of gold; blackened with tarnish at times,  but still precious.
  • Sometimes I get so scared I think my heart will stop beating. That usually happens when I forget where I came from, my lineage, and who my Father is.

Yes, I am authentic, Fearfully, and Wonderfully made...

I think I am still gonna just continue to be ME and see where Life takes me......