I heard this several times last week. Since God generally speaks to me through others, I am thinking this is something I need to pay attention to. Especially, when it comes from people who genuinely love me. The icing on the cake, it was reiterated by someone I haven’t really had more than a superficial relationship with for many, many years. Was it that apparent? Oh, it was said with kindness, caring, and a sincere desire to be helpful. It went something like this... “I think you’re a terrific writer, but your talent is being wasted in the places you are sending it. You need to THINK BIG! Sell yourself. You have too much talent to be spinning your wheels right where you are at. Take some bigger risks.” Touche’. Looking back, he wasn’t the first person to have said this to me. “Think Bigger”. I kept hearing it over and over everywhere I turned. In readings, on some of my podcasts and reviewing past conversations... with family members as well as a few friends. All these messages were like the pesky ghost of past, present and future all invading my private spaces. I told them all... they just didn’t understand..... how hard I’d been working and how optimistic I’ve been.
I haven’t thought big for decades. When I was a child, I dreamed of being the next Amelia Earhart. Better yet, the tormented author, sitting in a little Bistro in Paris. There I was, puffing really long cigarettes encased in a pearlized holder, tossing back shots of some hot liqueur; the kind that burned all the way down and chased the images out and onto my page of paper. My imagination could take off and run with that scenario. That’s one big dream that did come true. At least the part about being tormented and tossing back the shots.
I’m not saying I’m not a hopeful person: my positive thinking has navigated me through many a maze. I’m determined, and a very focused. When I find something I want to sink my teeth into, I give it my all. I just don’t stretch myself beyond, into the realm of what might lie out there, in the land of much more. After all, it could be painful, rejection is a searing white flame to the ego. I think of it like my Yoga practice, I bend and move and do the posture, never quitting; but I don’t breathe into the pain, and those places that will take me further into the move and ultimately greater rewards.
I’ve had a lot of excuses for not thinking bigger. My brain chastises me and says, it’s just not humble. But, is it really humility to downplay our gifts and not strive to become all that we are meant to be and do? Is it honoring Him to play ourselves small? Isn’t that tantamount to playing Him small too?
What’s really going on here? Some residual unworthiness that needs vacuumed out once and for all? Perhaps the thought of actually having some bigger success might then evoke an accountability I don’t think I am ready for? If I have faith and believe things happen when they are supposed to, I have to assume I would be ready for all that comes with it. It all boils down to, again... faith. What’s there to lose then by thinking bigger?
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.... Isn’t that my word of the year? I can’t be free if I limit myself to my comfort zone.
This week, I made a decision to THINK BIGGER. I stretched myself a little farther, came up with a game plan and acted on a few things outside of the realm of my safety net. So, far, so good. I put together a dream board and an action plan, combining the best of my heart and my mind. I know just thinking BIG isn’t enough. I know in order to gain momentum, I need to ACT BIG too. It’s just time, to try something different. Someone once told me its not enough to never, ever quit. If you keep using the same methods and have the same results, then it’s time to never, ever quit... trying something different. I am going to try to THINK BIGGER.