Water.....

Anyone who's close to me, knows if I could pick just one heart’s desire of the materialistic sort, it would be to live on the beach.  I should clarify that proclamation or the law of attraction might have me living “on the sand” along with my knapsack of possessions:  a beach bum in every definition of the word.  That’s not exactly what I have in mind.  A little two room cottage will do. Now that’s my idea of residential heaven on earth. From the time I was a young girl, I’ve run to the water; for answers, for healing, for balance, and most of all to connect with my Creator. On a smaller scale, nothing rejuvenates me after a bad day like a soaking tub bath.  Years ago, the hot tub did the trick. It lived in my backyard and was particularly enticing in the winter time. I have the fondest memories of being immersed up to my neck in the midst of the swirling white silence of a snowstorm. My hair, frozen hard with frost, and the rest of my body was enveloped in a blanket of warmth, caressed lovingly by the water.  In this setting there was this sense of profound peace as I silently stargazed.  The water slipped into the nooks and crannies smoothing out the wrinkles of the day.  Yet, water’s value is hardly just aesthetic. Water ensures our continued life.   We would only live a day or two, tops, without water. Our physical bodies are 2/3rd’s water.  We use water to cleanse ourselves and our environments of germs.  It doesn’t stop at our physical bodies either. Water is used in many religions as a symbolic sign of rebirth, purifying the spirit to make room for the holy.   Water itself is soft.... pliable, yet, generates great power in the science of hydraulics, bringing a natural form of energy into our world. To witness the effect of water’s subtle power, look at rocks eroded by a rhythmic, tiny droplet  continuously dripping onto a surface. Mountains are carved.  If water has that kind of authority in nature, in a human body, and cleansing the soul, why wouldn’t I be mystified by it and hungry for the lessons it could teach me?

It’s really more than the water itself. It’s what lies beneath as well. I became entranced with the sea as a teen. Living in Bermuda, the hypnotic pull of the beach sparked my interest in the nether world that lie below sky and earth.  I recall the first time I snorkeled.  I fell hard.  Hook, line and sinker- crazy mad in love.   Mask firmly in place, pressing into my forehead, tight around my nose and eyes, it all felt awkward at first... breathing through a tube.  Until, I stopped fighting what I was unaccustomed to, slowed the frantic flopping of my flippers and relaxed. I began to skim the surface of the water, breathing naturally, and drifted gracefully along,  awe struck by the delicate treasures hiding out from the harsher world above.  At first I felt like an intruder, illegally breaking into a beautiful gated community. The only noise I detected was the rhythmic breath of the sea, and the faintest of heartbeats. Time and space had no meaning; hours seemed like minutes and when I peeked up above the water I had drifted much farther away from the shore than was safe.  I had truly entered a new planet, a foreign land, far, far away. It was magical, like a first love, perfect in every way.   

This life below was full of color and movement. Undulating, gliding, and slipping by me.  The brilliant palette, enhanced by the deep blue of the sea, vibrated with energy, a gallery of uncommon Art in motion. Jellyfish sensually trailing their threads of pain. Starfish with their intricate underbellies, each swirl a one of a kind fingerprint. And, sea anemones, extra terrestrial flowers of sorts, bright, happy colors adorning the ocean floor.   Everything was gentle, unhurried and peaceful down there.  I felt serene, like  my life had been dialed back to the low setting.  The sea life kept drifting by my line of vision, impassively, as if they couldn’t see me, a ghost in the midst of all of this vibrancy.  The meaning in their movement challenged me to try to live my life closer to a state of mindful appreciation.  Slower, easier, gentler.. with flexibility.  The feeling of freedom was close to a near death experience.  Awe, well-being and weightlessness overwhelmed me as I moved towards the light of the sun reflecting deep into the blueness of water. 

This scrapbook of old memories about my deep love of the water and seashore, was revisited recently as I toured the phenomenal Monterey Aquarium in California. What happened to those big dreams of the thirteen year old girl, whose sights were set on a career in oceanography?   It set into motion a new resolve, a middle-aged dream.  So I pulled out the dream board, comitted to work harder, and began to share my secret yearning to live and write by the sea! I envisioned that little two room cottage behind me as I sat on the sand, pen in hand, writing the messages whispered to me through the waves; the sun and the sky touching in and inspiring my heart to really see and hear what longs to be described to those who struggle with an ability to really see.  

Yes, the water, above and below, is a fountain of life and wisdom.  Showing me how to slow down, appreciate what’s around me, and listen patiently for the heartbeat.  For it is there, I always find the answers I seek. Not far behind comes the knowledge that I too, a creation born on land, come from the same power as that droplet of water.  Because of that, anything is possible.    

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), It's always our self we find in the sea. - e.e. cummings

(All photo's taken at the spectacular Monterey Aquarium- Monterey, California)

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And, all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we did not take a trip; a trip took us. - John Steinbeck

Be Still and Know I am God......

I just returned from John Steinbeck country. This slice of the West Coast boasts some of the most scenic views in the world as well as rich farmlands bursting with fruits of the region. Fresh strawberries, lettuce, artichokes, avocados, and herbs are in abundance. The area oozes health of the physical, and spiritual variety. Temperatures are consistent year round, 65-75 degrees and the people seem to be grateful, simple, laid back, and friendly. Why wouldn’t they be? Essentially they are dwelling in Shangri-la.

Surreal views inviting us into another
world

Ice Plant - Don't let it fool you..
It grows despite the clay and rock and
takes over the cliff side.

Big Sur - Full Sun

Drives along the coast and Big Sur unveiled a painting:  layers of heather, azure, turquoise, and cerulean waters pulverizing into softness, smoky white sands.  In my travels, I have never seen sea water and terrain so diverse.  Venturing down the cliffs to the virgin beaches was a challenge, and commercially manufactured WARNING signs interrupted the sense of transcendence.  The cliffs too were a blanket of unlikely growth with hard, red clay surfaces unable to hold back the riot of dark green, aloe vera like plants known as Ice Plant, hot pink flowers sporadically peeking out from their tops.  Adding to the mystery and ethereal quality of it all, was a gossamer shroud of fog, like the sheerest of lingerie, sensually beckoning visitors to ignore the signs, throw caution to the wind and pursue her gifts.   Mesmerized by the seduction of the mermaids call, it was worth the risk to scale the cliff and drop into another world.  Charleton Heston when he lands on the beach in Planet of Apes came to mind.  This was an area where change could take place... if you let it.  The elusive feeling of oneness that we so desperately seek through literature, prayer, and human interaction just slipped in, with no effort on my part.  I became the sky, the sea, the land.  It took me. 

Sunset in another part of the world.

One evening, our fire logs, food, and blankets in tow, we trekked down to a more populated beach, Carmel by the Sea.  It was bonfire and cookout night!  Navigating the steep steps and climbing over mounds of rock to reach an alcove, my first thought was, “Good Lord, I hope we leave before dark.”  I knew we wouldn’t be because the sun was sliding slowly down the horizon when we arrived.  We started our fire, set up our grill and cooked our burgers.  By the time our bellies were full, the sun had been swallowed up by the sea, leaving our only remaining light to be a 2-3 foot perimeter around our tiny, blazing fire.   The air had taken on a nippy tone, and everyone gathered closer yet to the flames to stay warm.  And it got dark- pitch black. I looked for the moon.  It was nowhere to be seen.  There were a few other little campfires dotting the beach, and I could faintly see  black sillouhette’s outlined by the orange flames reassuring me that there was other civilization out there somewhere nearby.  The sound I heard off in the distance, reassuring me I was right where I needed to be, at the moment, was the intense crash of monster waves as they beat the sand into submission, the gritty granuales at the mercy of the whims of the water.  The cadence of the sound was like a repetitive mantra reassuring, in its sameness.  Hidden inside the noise of the water, a whisper, tickling my brain.  It said,  “I'm in charge. Enjoy this moment, for in this instant is all the wisdom you will ever need.” I felt every muscle in my body relax as I focused on nothing except the sticky sweetness of a melted marshmallow dissolving inside my mouth.  Time slowed and my mind felt like it had been shot full of Novocaine, all tingly, and devoid of man made emotion and thought. Just one sensation remained.  I didn’t think the word “awe”... I felt it with every cell in my body.  

The moon rose up through
the mist and clouds to
guide our way

Soon, the fire was just a few burning embers.  Our skin resembled the scales of a native Pacific salmon to the touch.  We had become truly one with the sea and it was time to slowly re-emerge into the reality, we weren’t of the sea, and we needed to get warm.  In that moment of recognition, the moon suddenly rose, our heavenly flashlight, illuminating our path.   Over the rocks, and up the side of the cliff.  It was as if God said, “See.  All you need to do is enjoy every moment of your life, second by second, with no thoughts for the future.  When its time to move forward, I will provide you with all the knowledge and light you need to get to your next destination.”  

A bonfire on the beach wasn’t in my plans particularly. I had no thoughts of indulging in its simplicity. I had a schedule of sights to see and things to do.   But, it was one of the best things about my trip.  We are constantly receiving gentle (and not so gentle reminders) we aren’t in charge of the Universe, and  the best laid plans, are no plans.  Go with the flow, and trust that the journey will take you where you need to be, to places purposeful and meaningful to your particular trip.   And the best laid lives are those  who allow their journey to take them.  The predictable, consistent, tides ebbed and flowed without my help.  The sun set beautifully over another day  and the moon rose just exactly when it needed to.   

Freedom and joy, pure joy....

Viva the end to struggle!