This poem touched something deep inside as I was getting ready to write today. This encapsulates my journey in this last year and says it much better than I can. When I heard this "new voice"(I'm not sure when exactly that happened) and discovered it was my own, everything changed. I actually trusted and rejoiced in the sound of it. It spoke authentically, kindly, with forgiveness, compassion, and great wisdom. It is no longer silent, blended with the voices of others in order to fit in, be loved, nor quieted by fear of rejection. I'm sure I jumped when I heard it. It's been docile for many years. It said, ever so softly, "The sentence is served, and it's your time." Do it now, do it for you, do it your way. Do it because it's your destiny. Trust. Love yourself."
The Journey by Mary Oliver
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.
And it is such a beautiful, wise voice. Good you are listening to it now too.
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