Sunday, August 1, 2010

It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman - Alexander Dumas

Three Little Divas...
Yesterday was a day of celebration at the wedding reception of my cousin’s oldest daughter.  The reception hall was huge and packed with family, former coaches, teachers, and many of their young friends. The newly-weds both grew up in the same small community where everyone knows everybody.  I personally have been trying to escape from this intimate environment almost all of my adult life. I finally recognized I needed to stop pounding my fists against my perception of the bullet proof dome holding me here. I have surrendered to the knowledge, God opens doors in His time.    Ahhhhh.... there is a degree of serenity in that release. I can see the benefits to small town living.   Being a big fish in a teeny metro area is attractive to some.  Additionally, the “it takes a village living” mentality provides a level of support, comfort in time of need, and sharing joys with others occurs more often here.  That bonding is difficult to find when you are just a number, in the masses.  I can also see, it could instill a sense of security, appreciation for simple pleasures, and values, in the young people who are raised in these rural areas today.  And, I think, that it can make for much more grounded early beginnings, than when there are so many diversions; kids grow up too early, feel pressured, competitive, and entitled. (Am I convincing myself here?)  That sense of community was clearly reflected in attendance at this wedding! A chunk of the town showed up to congratulate and celebrate! 
The bride and groom are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous young people that would shame the Barbie and Ken on top of any wedding cake. Seriously, they could have been models for a Vera Wang gown and a Ralph Lauren tuxedo.  A beautiful young couple bravely stepping into a new life phase.  And, everyone there had a blast celebrating that passage with them!  This paternal arm of my family (I have so many family branches it takes intricate diagrams to explain, so I rarely do) are close knit, love to party, and the joy of children are a huge part of their lives.  So, the little ones were in attendance and whopping it up with big people as well.  I heard they even savored some “Shirley Temple Cocktails”, a treat that had me reminiscing about my own childhood and my desire to be a big girl. They rocked out to Lady Gaga, and slipped along the dance floor to the Electric Slide. What a breathless, sweaty, treat it was to join them!  
Now my cousin is a total man’s-man, and his children, all three, are girls!  These exquisite little beauties are championship softball players too, so that likely fills some of his need for his macho sports fix. Along with their sports, these young ladies enjoy fashion, a great stiletto and revel in being girls.  Lovely, athletic, feminine, sensitive, and competent would be good descriptors.  During the father/daughter dance, I was chatting with my aunt who had tears in her eyes when we watched her son, so tenderly holding his smiling daughter as they rocked back and forth on the dance floor.  I could envision him using this same movement to soothe her when she was a baby.  The mutual adoration was apparent. My aunt said, “You know he is crazy about his girls.  He told me, Mom, I wouldn’t trade any of my girls for a boy.”  Amazingly, you know he means it.  In the past, I asked my cousin if my son-in-law could talk with him about raising girls, since he is in the same boat with three little divas of his own.  Rick, said, “Sure.  But, I will have to tell him, how much I have enjoyed my girls. I can’t imagine having more fun with boys.” Of course, I shared that last night with my son-in-law who rolled his eyes some, but then echoed my cousin’s statement about not being able to picture a life without his little women either.  And, I know even with all their occasional drama, he sincerely means that.  A father is a daughter’s first love and the relationships they enter in the future, tend to mirror what they have seen as an example with the first man in their lives.  My grand-daughters are blessed to witness a man who loves their mother deeply, provides a framework for them to cultivate personal interests and social skills while instilling manners and values.  And, he does all this with no formal training in the care and upbringing of emotional, creative, fascinating, intelligent little beings with hormones far different from his. I think he and my cousin were given this gift because God knew they could handle it, and they both do it so well.   
Looking out from the dance floor at the crowd in the room, I saw a sea of females... All ages. It was interesting to note, they outnumbered the men in the group.  Now, the men were either off doing their guy thing in the bar with the television tuned into some sporting event, or my conjecture about a shift occurring in females outnumbering males, was verified at the wedding last night.  I had this conversation with my daughter last week, and she not only rolled her eyes, I think she said something like, “Oh, brother, mom.  You are taking your new age mentality too far!”  I told her, I read, the number of male births is declining.  In the United States, it has remained at 49% girls, 51% boys, for decades.  I find the theories on why boys outnumber girls pretty interesting.  The first is,  males are more fragile and male infants are less likely to survive their first year.  Also, its no secret, a man’s expected lifespan is less than a woman’s.  The slightly higher conception rate is nature’s way of equalizing. The second theory is Y-bearing, male-producing sperm, may have a speed advantage over X-bearing female producing sperm, more often winning the race to fertilize the egg, and resulting in more male conceptions. I am sure you can see where I am going with all of this....   Spending your time on earth as a male, competitive since sperm, trying to be top-dog, the first to arrive, grab the brass ring, have it all, doesn’t leave much time, or room, for relaxation, reflection, or fun.  This can wreck havoc on an already fragile male, lacking the stamina and resilience of his female counterpart.  My hypothesis... are you ready for this? When a male’s lifetime is complete and he has his respite time in heaven, he decides girls really do have more fun and this time around he's gonna switch genders!  And, of course those of us who have savored the fruits of being a female, aren’t willing to give the male gig a shot, next time around.  We want to come back as females again. Therefore, the birth rates are shifting!  It’s something to think about.... 
Seriously, there is no better time to be a girl than this century, especially in this country.   We have so many choices available to us these days. Education is obtainable for woman, which in turn provides us with the ability to support ourselves. The glass ceiling has been shattered and we can truly follow the career path that suits our talents.  We can buy our own homes, cars, vacations and jewelry. We can choose to marry or not.  We can choose to have children, or not.  And, we can choose to love a man with all our soul, because we see his soul, not because we need his protection, wallet or social standing. Our foremothers, endowed us with resilience and the ability to bounce back from loss and disappointment. We are innately born into a state of generosity, nurturance, and sustainability.  And, we know how to have fun.... something our male counterparts seem to struggle with. In April of this year, I was fortunate to hear Paul Young, the author of “The Shack” speak.  The controversy the book created in the secular and non-secular community was a mystery to me.  In my opinion, any message which provides healing and comfort is a gift.  During the Q & A session, someone probed why Mr. Young made God a woman in his book.  He said something I thought was quite profound.  He stated, the book was written as a healing tool, full of metaphors about his own life.  He went on to say, most of the suffering in this world, is generally at the hands of men; war, abuse, crime, and religious restrictions.  He needed to make his God, a being of comfort; gentle and nurturing, full of unconditional love.  For him, that embodied the female gender.   
Bevy of Beautiful Females
 2 to 70 something!
On the dance floor last night, I saw this bevy of beautiful females, ages two to seventy-something, all at different phases of their life cycle, dancing and rejoicing at the union of two, happy young adults. It was interesting to step back and silently witness the chapters of the book of “female” unfold. The exuberance of youth, the self-consciousness of puberty, the arrogance of teen, the adventure of young woman, the protection of  mother, the acceptance and confidence of middle age woman, and the wisdom and understanding of mature woman.  I felt comfortable, honored to be a part of and protective of the sisterhood.  And, I felt a sense of gratitude at the good men, who have the ability to accept the awesomeness of the girls they have been entrusted to raise.  And, proud of their bravery in not being intimidated by the threat of a woman.  For, it is a greater threat   to mankind if we allow such a perfect creation to be minimized by perceived gender preference or entitlement.     

1 comment:

  1. What you are really doing, is being present so that your small community has class, style and sex appeal. Domenick