Today, I was perched on top of a pair of big, flowered bed pillows, legs crossed Indian style, hands resting on my knees. My palms were facing upward, ready to receive and I giggled out loud. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Here I was, not a total newbie to this meditation practice, and it was still happening. My nose itched and I felt like I had to sneeze. The sound of my phone dinging from the other room, pierced my brain, and the battle began. Like a two year old with the attention span of a rabid squirrel, the left brain began to duke it out with the right brain. Right brain wandered off into creative ideas for the perfect Sunday Brunch for Easter, table decorations, and cute little treasures for the kids’ Easter baskets. Colorful, Creative, and Fun! Left brain smacked me into order like an old Nun schoolteacher. “Knock it off. SatChitAnanda... SatChitAnanda. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe.... In, out, in out.” My right brain sing-songed, “Lalalala....I can’t hear you...... There it went.... skipping on down the path with the Easter Bunny. Ghandi once said, “To train your mind to eliminate the chatter is like trying to empty the sea with a teacup.” I feel better hearing those profound words from a master teacher. Today, I not only accepted this chatter as “normal” I surrendered to it. That’s progress.
minutes a day, the first year, was about all I could tolerate. Everything started to itch, and I squirmed in my seat, consciously fighting off thoughts that crowded into that quiet space I was trying to reach. I kept it up, no matter what; even those days when my brain was off and running and the effects weren’t what I anticipated and wanted.... calmness, insight, and peaceful acceptance of what is. Every day, day after day...it became a habit, like brushing my teeth or taking a daily shower to clean my body. I started to think of it as the routine I used to clean my mind of the clutter so there would be room for some silence. I hoped that when my brain grew still, and I felt a faint quickening in my heart, I would find some true peace and my answers.
"My little changes amount to big benefits."
Egotistically--- people are noticing a calmer, more balanced me! I let that right brain frolic and play and the left brain rationalize and try to control and make practical sense of it all; knowing they'll both get tired and succumb to spending some quality time, in stillness, just listening, to the reassuring beating of my heart.